St. Louis Blues Alumni Could Mean Any Number of Things

After this past season's Mizzou-Kansas Border War hockey "game" – a shared dream some of us had where we thought the University of Kansas had a hockey team, but then we woke up and all was right with the world again – one could only imagine what kind of exciting hockey events could be on the horizon for our metro area.  Well, here ya go.

Friday, January 18th, 2013, at Independence Events Center, the University of Missouri hockey club will play against members of the St. Louis Blues Alumni.  Who is on that team?  Who knows!  Could be any number of players!  Phil Housley!  Derek Armstrong!  Tommy Barrasso!  Charlie Huddy!  Wayne Gretzky!!!  What an amazing lineup, I can't see why none of those guys won't play!  Anyway, there's probably more info coming on this event, so keep a look out.

Remember when Mizzou and Kansas were supposed to play on January 17th of next month?  Yeah, I don't know if that's going to happen now, but this other thing is, so yay!

UPDATE:  Oh, I guess some of the players include Jon Casey, Tony Twist, and Darren Pang.  Oh well.

New York Rangers and Colorado Avalanche Come to Sprint Center October 6th!!!

Hell yeah, another NHL exhibition game!  This October 6th, Kansas City-area hockey fans will have the treat of seeing the New York Rangers and Colorado Avalanche play a late-preseason hockey game.  At the Sprint Center.  Here, in KANSAS CITY!!!  This is an interesting matchup between two teams that have absolutely no reason to come here to play a game (let's get the rumor started that the Avalanche are relocating, shall we?).  It's already been said and assumed, but this is the first game that does not feature the Blues (the club with the closest geographic proximity), the Kings (owned by AEG), or teams with a history of wanting to relocate (Islanders and Penguins–the Pens after the fact, of course).  This means, presumably, that the NHL and AEG are either a) continuing to test the waters in Kansas City to see just how popular the NHL brand is here or b) just giving us what we want.  I know I speak for all KC hockey fans when saying who gives a crap why we get another exhibition game here, I'm just glad we get one.  Also, OH WELL WHO CARES LOL HOCKEY!!!!!


I've mentioned it before, and I will do it again and again and again every year that at least one exhibition game plays here, but this means something to KC hockey fans.  If you are a hockey fan in or around KC, and this doesn't mean something to you, "well, then, that's, like, your opinion, man," and your opinion is wrong.  Yes, we all enjoy the Mavericks, and yes, we all want an NHL team, but it's just not a reality at the moment.  Five years from now, though, could be a different story.  This is our game (not "Our Time," because holy crap) to enjoy the NHL.  Just think how much fun our cross state neighbors had this season with the Blues.  Or think about those hockey fans in South Florida, finally getting to see playoff hockey for the first time since 2000.  Or, jeez, if I could find a video of the LA Kings Fanzone/LA Live pre-game stuff for their playoff games, wow, THATS a party any hockey fan can enjoy.  We may have that one day, but for right now, for at least one night, that's us, man.  That's freakin' us.

And, for you local Avs and Rangers fans, I can tell you as a Kings fan, seeing the team I follow in the arena in my hometown is like a dream come true.  It's just...well, let me put it this way: It's better than sex, if sex was performed on ice.

For one game we have a hockey team to follow right here in our own hometown, that's why it's so frustrating to read an interview with ESPN's senior vice-president Vince Doria who says, "hockey doesn't...transfer much to a national discussion" when asked why ESPN doesn't have much hockey coverage.  Pardon my French (kids, close your eyes for the next few words), but I call bullshit.  It's bullshit that hockey isn't in "the national discussion."  It's bullshit that radio/TV talk shows don't talk about it.  He goes on to say, "For whatever reason, and this is my unsubstantiated research on it, hockey doesn't generate that same kind of interest nationwide [Ed: bold is mine]," which is somehow even bigger bullshit that saying hockey isn't part of a national discussion.  Doria, as a professional in his field, holds a myopic view of American culture.  Patrick Burns over at Deadspin is right to say that ESPN, for better or worse, forms the national discussion.  They have risen to a point of dictating all talking points of the casual sports fan, but saying that sports conversations can't  happen organically makes us hockey fans seem like grain-defying hipsters.  No, KC isn't an NHL or NBA market, so no, our talk radio shows will not give them a lot of air time.  But, there are fans of all teams here (yes, even Blackhawk fans), and it's not like the NHL is only spoken about in a 23-city vacuum in America.  Hey look, here's a Kings fan (me).  Oh, wow, Blues fans (most hockey fans around the state of Missouri).  Oh, look over there, Pens fans (80% of the exhibition crowd last year, apparently).  Wow, even a Rangers fan.  How exotic.

The point to all of this: For one night we get to have our own conversation, and hopefully one day, sooner rather than later (but definitely not that soon), we will have about 82 of these conversations every year.

***

Oh, yeah, also, don't forget to follow me on Twitter: @FlubberMcGee.  I already have a bunch of KC related hockey links for you to check out, and even more now with the news of the exhibition game.  Check it out and stay up to date.

The Distinguished Sports Observer's Guide to Avoiding the Words "Classless" and "Dirty"

Via ESPN

I hate to start anything with a “Webster’s Dictionary states...” style definition, but it has a point, so bear with me:

class*less
adjective
1. (of a society) not divided into social classes.

 Wait a minute, that’s not right.  Okay, maybe this is closer.

2. characterized by the absence of economic and social distinctions

 Not really, but kind of...wait, okay here we go:

class  

adjective 

informal: showing stylish excellence

Classless.  Without class.  Having no class.  Sans class.  The inability to show stylish excellence.  These are all ideas of classlessness.  In the sports world, classless relates to a direct and wiling attack against the rules with the intent of harming another player or the laws of the game.  Playing the game with a reckless disregard for all things good and just in the sport.  Playing outside of the box, in effect, is not allowed in the sports world.  Walter Sobchak would have made a great commissioner with the motto, “Am I the only one around here who gives a sh*t about the rules?”  But, if a player does this enough, or in a gloriously reckless way, they are labeled by the fans of that sports as a “cheat”, “dirty”, or “classless”.  In hockey it can range from anything from playing the puck from the bench, to making direct intentional contact with another player for the sake of injuring that player or to seek retribution, to sucker punching an opponent in the back of the head.  The NHL’s most recent talking point revolves around intent to injure, most notably, headshots and removing dangerous collisions. 

One hopes that Brendan Shanahan and the rest of the NHL rules people are doing their best to get rid of the dirty plays much like those hot beats off of Raffi Torres’s Greatest Hits Album.  But, to call someone like Torres dirty is missing the point: his style of play is no longer tolerated in the NHL.  He must serve a 25 game suspension, and if he doesn’t straighten up and fly right after serving his suspension, he will be socially ostracized, he will be awarded no points, and may God have mercy on his soul.

But, what does it mean to be a classless, dirty, goon, punk, no-good dirty rotten rebel hotshot who plays by no one else’s rules but his own?  Well, by playing outside of the box, they essentially play outside of the established rules.  Thus not playing the game hard, fast, clean, and with “stylish excellence”, right?  How about playing without “integrity”, which literally means just playing within the rules.  It’s when players play outside of the established rules, jeopardizing the “integrity of the game”, that commissioner Gary Bettman or Shanahan step in.

Recently, the hard part for the League is defining “integrity”, a continuously fluid idea in a violent sport like hockey.  A hit legal in the year 2000 is not legal now, for obvious reasons, but it does not mean that players avoided making that hit then.  The role of the goon, like–albeit a fictional example–the Hanson brothers from the movie Slapshot, a reckless abandon style of player on most lineups through the early to mid-2000s, has all but disappeared from most teams in an effort to implement more offense and skill to the game.

Sometimes the League's definition of this fluid idea causes confusion among players and coaches.  Applying this idea to the recent Pens–Flyers series and final meetings in the regular season, one sees how team personnel and the League can interpret the idea of “integrity” differently.  Take Flyers coach Peter Laviolette’s argument with Penguins coach Dan Bylsma, calling him “gutless” for playing his fourth line with less than two minutes left in a decided game a week before the playoffs.  Yes, hard hits were had, and fighting ensued, but the Penguins players did not do anything outside of the established rules.  Unexpected, yes, but not enough to say that they jeopardized the integrity of the game.  Conversely, look at the Pens-Flyers playoff Game 3, when Penguins Arron Asham, Craig Adams, and James Neal went outside of the rules with their excessive violence.  The league stepped in and suspended all three players.  How about, for fun, we label them as “classless” players, you know, just to get a row out of those journalistic types.  What does that mean?  It means they are players that take the rules into their own hands; players that the league will look at much closer in the future.  The league knows who to watch, especially those “repeat offenders” that Shanahan talks about.  Yeah, maybe we as fans don’t agree with every decision (*cough* Shea Weber *cough*), but be sure precedent has been set and will be set for the future with every dangerous hit.  The beauty of modern sport lies in the ability to fluctuate and change as needed.

So, applying this idea to something semi-local, the “classless”, “dirty”, “goon” mantra has officially started in the Kings-Blues series.  This same dialogue went on during the Kings-Canucks series with numerous accusations of diving, headshots, and aggressive play through the first three games.  You see this to a lesser extent in the Blues-Sharks series, notably with the fight at the end of Game 2 – the beginning of the end for the Sharks.

Game 1 of the Kings-Blues series saw a questionable hit by the Kings’ Dwight King on Blues defenseman Alex Pietrangelo.  Immediately, two opposing sides form on whether or not this hit is a malicious and dangerous, and thus suspendable, play.  Ultimately, the league decided not to punish King any further (he got 2 minutes for boarding for the hit).  Then, Game 2 gave us the crazy physical play by the Blues after the Kings’ fifth goal, and the borderline hit by Kings d-man Willie Mitchell (past concussion victim) on Jamie Langenbrunner.  Otherwise, you’re just talking about two tough teams beating the crap out of each other for about 38 minutes.  As NBC Sports commentator Brian Engblom stated in roundabout fashion numerous times during the third period (and I’m paraphrasing) “This is the playoffs.”  Alas, Mr. Engblom's assertion aside, the conversation in the comments section gets ugly or non compos mentis and strong opinions form among the fans of the two sides, and, as stated in the Internet Guide to Civil Conversation and Open Dialogue Vol. III, that does not follow the modern conventions of cordial hockey debates.

When in doubt about the physicality of an NHL playoff series, ask this question:  Has either team gone out of their way to be malicious or make a mockery of the game?  I don’t think so.  It’s hard hitting.  It’s a battle.  It’s going to be rough at times because neither team wants to give up an inch.  And, in that same vain, no player wants to cost their team by sitting out or become the primary focus of the referees.

Is Dustin Brown classless for his aggressive board play and whiplash effect?  How about Carlo Colaiacovo for rabbit punching Brown?  If you answer 'yes' in either case, then there are many other current and former players you can lump in the dirty pile with them.

So, the point of all this is that the Reactionary Internet Community doesn’t mean “classless” when they say “classless,” nor do they understand that when they say “dirty” they actually mean “classless,” which, if you were just paying attention, is not the word they actually mean.  They mean “belittling the integrity of the game,” but, as mentioned, the integrity of the game is a fluid idea, which it should be in a progressive society like this one.  The Reactionary Internet Community (as well as the Ignorant Internet Folks) will say what they want to say, and there is nothing you or I or anyone can do about it.  You can troll as much as anyone else can troll, and that’s about it, and that solves nothing (except being incredibly hilarious sometimes).

But, my main point: Always question things.  Question the League.  Question the motivations of the players, for they are in fact human beings.  But, have confidence that the League will handle things in an appropriate way, and that players will play the game right.  And, dammit, above all else, just enjoy yourself.  I mean, it’s the freakin’ Stanley Cup playoffs! 

***

Oh, hey, I’m on that Twitter contraption now!  Shhhh, don’t tell me how 2009 turns out, I haven’t gotten all the way through yet.

For all Kansas City-area related hockey news and links to other cool stuff (and links to articles on this blog), follow @FlubberMcGee

The Coaching Carousel, Brought to You By Teams that Fire Their Head Coach With Eighteen Games Left

But, really, Brian Burke?  I could give two pucks less if you have one Canadian on your team or three hundred, but damn, by this point in the season you might just want to ride the pony/coach that got you there and hope for the best.  Regardless, it's time once again for everyone's favorite fired/rehired coaches segment, the Coaching Carousel!

Oh, and it's in the air people, the smell of playoff hockey.  Can you smell it?  Don't take one big whiff, you may become lightheaded.  It permeates everything around you.  It's already upon you, there is no sense in hyperventilating yourself into unconsciousness trying to smell it.

But, maybe you can't smell it, or don't want to smell it.  Well, I know one thing that smells.  Some of the teams who have fired coaches this season.  As of now, EIGHT!!! coaches have been fired through three-quarters of the 2011-12 NHL regular season.  Compare that to two through this point last season.  Yep, two.  That is quite a few less than eight if you take time to really think about it.

Again, what follows is superficial data from each team who has fired old coaches and hired new coaches, comparing and contrasting a few stat categories of the teams playing under each coach.  It won't solve anything or help you in the dating world, but it may make you sound smart to people who don't follow hockey.  And really, isn't that all that matters?


Again, the items highlighted in yellow are specifically important items or stats unique to the success and/or failure of each team.
Click to embiggen each team's stat box.
*-- denotes interim coach
#-- denotes division leader
Stats as of March 6th, 2012 at 11:59pm CT (does not account for Carolina's March 7th game)


St. Louis Blues

The Blues are this year's success story.  Yeah, Ken Hitchcock has them scoring and playing overall better hockey than the team under Davis Payne, but just look at that goals against per game average under Hitch.  Just marvel at it.  It's really a sight to behold.  Being the #1 team in the Central Division is an achievement in itself.  It's surprising to see the Blues special teams so average considering their dominance over the past four months.

Car-Chair Analysis:  President's Trophy?  Eh... Let's wait and see how Detroit does down the stretch before we jump to any conclusions.

 Washington Capitals

Well, if you look at their special teams under Hunter... oh boy, that can't be good.

Car-Chair Analysis: This team has more problems than what can be determined through a spreadsheet or graph.

Carolina Hurricanes

They have shown gradual, deliberate improvement in scoring more goals than the opposing team, but a 78% penalty kill average is 11% off of the league leader (Montreal).  In a lost season, they do have a serviceable powerplay, so that's something.

Car-Chair Analysis: They probably won't finish worse than Montreal, Columbus, or Edmonton, or better than twenty other teams.  Lottery pick, AHOY!

 Anaheim Ducks

Goals scored, goals scored, goals scored, but goals against, goals against, goals against.  This team, as well as they have played under Boudreau, struggles to stay consistent.  Hiller is on one night, off the next, and the same thing goes for their offense.

Car-Chair Analysis: Their run over the past two months has been outstanding, but it will have to be more outstanding-er for them to make the playoffs this year.

 Los Angeles Kings

The Kings aren't scoring as many goals overall under Sutter, but they are getting them when it matters.  Still one of the best in the league when it comes to goals against per game.  Sure, the Kings could benefit from more powerplay goals, but it's hard to fault a special teams that gives up so few goals on the penalty kill.  If this team had a higher goal producing offensive attack, they may be battling St. Louis for the top spot in the West.  Or, they could be giving up three goals per game instead.  Whatever.

Car-Chair Analysis: Real talk: The Kings have the potential to be a dangerous team if they make the playoffs.  Good defense and good goaltending, with just enough offense sprinkled in has the potential to be hard to stop.

 Montreal Canadiens

They have the league's best penalty kill.  Otherwise, they suck.

Car-Chair Analysis: Randy Cunneyworth still can't speak French.  This results in more losses.

 Toronto Maple Leafs

Look, they didn't win with Ron Wilson, and it could have to do with that whole +3 GA/G stat or not.  It's just incredible this organization hasn't been relevant for so long.  They are like the Yankees in the late 1960s, only longer.

Car-Chair Analysis:  The Ron Wilson-era ends and that's all I am going to say for now.  Randy Carlyle has coached, like, three games, mended his relationship with Joffery Lupul, and then declared victory all over Lupul's shoulder.  That's all you need to know.

Best Available Coaches:

Terry Murray

Jacques Martin

Davis Payne

Paul Maurice

Craig MacTavish

Bob Hartley

Andy Murray (!!! :D)

Pierre Maguire

Scott Gordon

Tony Granato

Scott Arniel

Senator Jacques Demers

Marc Crawford

Michel Therrien

Dean Evason

Gerard Gallant

Ron Wilson

Coaches on the Chopping Block:

Jack Capuano - NYI (meh, probably not)

References:

Game by game stats

STL * WAS * CAR * ANA * LAK * MTL * CBJ * TOR

NHL Standings

NHL PP Stats

NHL PK Stats

Hockey-Reference

Yes, I Understand the Season Has Already Started: Hey KC, Follow This Team...or Not

"GOOOO HOCKEY!!!"

I am not a fan of this next team, but I do know that many Kansas Citians follow them closely.  It's not so much I hate them, it's just too much over-saturation based on past living arrangements.  And because I'm a Kings fan.  Alas, this team ranks in my top 5 of the most KC-esque teams.  I will try to remain unbiased as I list the reasons for you to like them for the years to come, and the reasons to maybe choose another of the five.

By the way, this team played at Kemper Arena more than any other NHL franchise at nine times (three of these were recent exhibition games; I don't know the exhibition schedule of the Scouts so it may be more).  Who is it?  Jump to find out, or just look at the tags.  Whatever.

Via

YOOOOOOUUUUURRRR ST. LOUIS BLUES!

Village West Best Potential Award:  Player that brings the most to the team

David Backes scored the biggest point total in his career last season (31+31=62), and has played almost all of the past four seasons.  He is the face of the organization, and one of the more consistent players in recent years.  He's not a huge goal scorer, but as a big bodied second round draft pick in 2003, he is everything the Blues need him to be and more.

The blog St. Louis Game Time has a bit of a different perspective, but it doesn't discount his important role on the team:

The bottom line is that Backes plays hockey the right way. He's physical, he's responsible in his own end. He passes the puck about as often as he shoots it. He can drop the gloves if he needs to. He plays in front of the net and in traffic. He's a strong skater. I could go on. Of all the players on the Blues' roster, he is right now the most established and rock solid. But I think he's close to his ceiling. Unless he changes how he plays, Backes won't see a big jump in goals or assists. That's not a bad thing. But it means there are a couple guys who still have some room to grow that I will argue are more important on this team.

A good assessment of a young leader.  There may be better players on the team, but Backes is reliable and consistent.  Again, no major injuries nor glaring scoring inconsistencies.  Named the Blues captain about a month ago, he is the youthful leader on a team full of veteran leaders.  Langenbrunner, McDonald, and Arnott add the veteran presence, but they may not be on the team much longer.  No need to worry about Backes leaving; he’s locked up through 2016.

Union Station Biggest Burden Award: Player with least upside and carries a big financial burden

Geez, it’s hard to pick a guy that is a huge financial burden on a team that doesn’t spend a lot of money.  The Royals can do it (e.g. Jose Guillen, etc.), why can’t the Blues?  So, let’s just say Jamie Langenbrunner.  He adds veteran leadership (e.g. Jeff Francoeur) and all of that fun stuff, but is getting $2.75MM for just one year.  He is a low risk type of guy, but he’s 36 and didn’t score much for two teams that didn’t make the playoffs last season.  He appears to be a good choice for this spot.  

Plus, Scott Nichol is only getting $700,000 for this year, so he’s not much of a burden just to get in useless fights or he would have this spot hands down.

Eric Hosmer/ 2004 2008 2012 Royals Hope Award: Reason for Optimism

Gosh, well, you will want to stick with this team, I suppose.  They kept their cap low for a reason, since most of their core players are either UFA or RFA at the end of this season or next.  I can’t imagine this team will be too dangerous this year in the Central Division that features the tough Predators, Red Wings, and Blackhawks.  Maybe next year, depending on major signings or free agents.

Also, the ownership situation is getting much clearer since Matthew Hulsizer has entered the picture.  You might remember Hulsizer as the guy who wanted to buy the Coyotes last year.  Yeah, well, the Blues are a much better investment with much better fan and local support.  All the Blues need is a stable ownership group, and it seems business can get back to normal without the worry of future money woes.

Katie Horner Scared-Sh!tless Award:  Reason to Worry

Another year of mediocrity, and then it’s all up in the air after that depending on this season.  If the Blues perform well this season, a bunch of dudes probably get resigned and the team continues the course they are on.  If they perform poorly this season, more affordable veteran "leaders" come in as the team embarks on a rebuild within a rebuild, of sorts.

Buck O’Neil Positive Attitude Award:  Reason to cheer them

1. They are the closest team to KC, and occasionally appear on local TV.
2. Long history + no championship = Big 12 North football territory.  Plus the Chiefs’ last championship came only five years after the Blues came into existence.
3. Team with a long history with solid teams.
4. Hope for new ownership dedicated to improving the NHL's product in St. Louis.

Mark Funkhouser Memorial Trophy:  Reason to Hate Them

1. You live in Kansas City, and hate St. Louis.
2. You live in Kansas, and hate Missouri.
3. No championships for the club since their inception in 1967, and you need to brag about something.
4. Again, it's St. Louis.  So, just think about that.

Worlds of Fun Ride that Best Describes the Franchise:  Mamba

They are a thrill ride-type of team.  They are up, they are down.  They rebuild, they go to the playoffs, they run out of steam, and start rebuilding again.  Just like the Mamba, especially recently, the Blues' build-up to the season is like a steep hill and you just can't see the other side.  They may be good, they may be bad.  This may be scary, it may be lame, or it may be good.  This season is another one of those years.  This team has a lot of working pieces, but they certainly are not flashy like their Central Division counterparts.  Like the Mamba, the most recent Blues start with some skepticism, go over the first hill of the season, crest another hill, maybe hit a peak, and by the middle of the season they use some early momentum but start going in circles, then there are a lot of annoying bumps at the end of the season that keep them out of the playoffs.  At some point during the whole dilemma, someone takes their picture and they end up looking something like this:

Number of Floating, Disembodied Jack Harry Heads:

Four out of five

I think Jack would like to talk about this team, and I personally would love to hear how he attacks the front office.  If anything, the Blues management makes decent decisions, but they are typically very safe.  I'm sure Jack would scream his head off at Dave Checketts for trying to sell and the process taking so long etc. etc.  Also, their mediocrity over the years surely would upset him, even if Jack really doesn't care about hockey.  But, they are a team Midwesterners can get behind.  After the Scouts left KC in 1975, the Blues were the only club in Missouri and were able to grow throughout the state and the region.  When the Blues played the exhibition games in KC in the past years, their fans were there in full force.  They make the playoffs occasionally, and they have strong, exciting teams at least once every decade.  Yet, they rarely have any significant wins in the playoffs, so there are still plenty of problems for the local media to fain anger at a few times every month.  Which sounds eerily familiar to a certain NFL team that plays at Arrowhead.  As a team for Kansas Citians to follow, they make.... a lot...of.... sense....

Ugh, that was painful.

Relevant (NSFW language).  And that is indeed JACK'S SMACK!