Greg Wyshynski: Missing the Point

A few things I want to point out about Greg Wyshynski's lack of actual reporting, and why this gives bloggers something of a bad name among those in the dying, though somewhat still prestigious, mainstream print media.  Don't get me wrong, Greg has some fine articles from time to time, and I'm not debating his success as a sports writer/blogger.  I enjoy his site, and I think it's a great place to discover the hundreds of thousands of hockey blogs around the world.  Perhaps you discovered this blog from his site.  But I have to disagree with him on something, just like I've disagreed with him here, here, and here.

Here is the story is question.  Please read it first:

LA Kings fans boo injured rookie Avalanche goalie (Video)

First, here are a few things to keep in mind:

*Greg reaches a large audience with his blog.  This gives him influence among the casual hockey fan blog reader, whether he likes it or not.  What he writes resonates with a community of unique-minded individuals.

*Greg – I don't believe but someone can prove me wrong – does not profess to be a journalist, and is not held to the same Journalistic criteria as those members of the print and broadcast media.  He is a blogger, albeit one of the lucky few who get paid to talk about something they love for a living.

Okay, please jump for the Twitter log of Greg's realization and further understanding of the events as they unfold.  One more thing to keep in mind is that Greg has already written and published his Puck Daddy article at this time.

Greg begins by patronizing a few Kings fans that call him on his quick assessment of the Kings fans booing while a player is injured.  Questioning how Kings fans could know that Giguere would replace the injured goaltender – keep in mind, Giguere is the backup to the once healthy, now injured goaltender – seems a bit disrespectful, does it not?  How are Kings fans to know the goalie will be replaced, although the goalie is, you know, hurt.  Gann Matsuda, a respected Kings blogger – and member of the Staples Center press corps – quickly proves why Greg's statement has little to do with simple goalie changes.  Giguere – an ex-Anaheim Duck, the LA Kings hated rival – is shown on the scoreboard perhaps eliciting a negative reaction from Kings fans who still remember his glory days in Anaheim.  Greg "pops" that into his already written blog post, thus adding an eye witness account and expert testimony to a post he presumably had enough facts to write to begin with.  Remember that when you read it.  Gann then shows this is not just his opinion, but the majority opinion of members of the LA press corps (yes, a biased press corps, but one with knowledge of the situation).

Gann does much to refute the beliefs of Dave Nash, while Greg sticks to his "it wasn't just Giguere they were booing" story without really saying what he believes the Kings fans were indeed booing.

It's at this point we learn Dave Nash is an idiot.  The official Twitter feed of the LA Kings mascot, Bailey, chimes in on another theory of why the fans may have been booing...for what it's worth.  Greg claims that it's just "impossible" to tell who or what the fans were booing without knowing when Giguere appeared on the video board, despite having already written a post on the event.

All of that said, this happens well after the post was originally published.  Gann's input was added later.  Thus, Greg had a need to show the hockey world that the LA Kings were booing while a goalie was injured, though he admits after the fact that many factors could have contributed to why Kings were booing.

Greg makes two big mistakes in publishing this post.  First, the obvious:  He uses random people on Twitter as a source.  It's easy for random Twitter users to use the common Internet tactic of hiding behind their keyboard, thus giving them the power to say whatever they feel.  We know that; we've all been there.  Timothy Burke of Deadspin made this mistake during President Obama's nationally televised speech concerning Sandy Hook that just so happened to occur during NBC's coverage of Sunday Night Football.  It's easy to go on Twitter to find people saying the nastiest, meanest shit in the world at any given time, so I imagine it's easy to find people who need little reason to hate an opposing fan base at any given time.  People hate the Kings – lo, every professional sports franchise – nearly every day publicly on Twitter.  Likewise, if you ever need validation that carrots are great, cite this Twitter account.  This does not necessarily justify an opinion, though, because anonymous Twitter users can be anybody.  They can even be fake.

The second mistake, of course, is that Greg never actually comes out and condemns Kings fans, although this is what people assume to be the point of his article.  "Kings fans boo injured goalie" is the headline, thus the article is about Kings fans actively booing the injury of a person.  The object verbs the subject.  It could easily have read "Group of people react poorly to bad thing."  Insert "human trauma" for "bad thing" and now you add the human element, the true essence of the story.  You should show restraint, run for help, get a doctor, grab some bandages, call the injured man's next of kin – anything but boo and jeer his mangled form.

This isn't tactful journalism by Greg – the reporting of facts as they come in – nor is it a complete lambasting of a group of people.  He just says "Thing Happened," and only gives reactions of Kings detractors "fillet(ing)" the Kings on Twitter.  Nowhere does Greg say, "Kings fans suck," or, "The Kings need to connect with their fans."  One can assume he means this through his Twitter interactions, but that's just an assumption.  It's just that this thing occurred, so what do you think about it?  It's a mess of gray area and hypotheticals.  Perhaps we are supposed to feel something, or have an opinion, but we never know why.  I say this with the belief that 18,000 fans weren't booing an injured goalie.  But we wouldn't know that – or know what else they could possibly be booing – from reading this article.

So, that's leaves us with one question: What's the point?  Why write it if you 1) obviously don't have all of the facts from multiple witnesses or 2) don't have an apparent opinion conveyed within the story.  You have people on Twitter as your source, not reputable people attending the game (which you wouldn't add until later, in a sense giving a dissenting voice to an article not originally written to be a debate), just random people.  You are the Mant'i Teo of hockey bloggers, in this case.

Why does this bother me?  Well, for one, there are too many examples of poor "capital J" Journalism in the American media.  Everyone is a critic (this post included), but it goes back to the base of readers Greg reaches.  What is this telling his readers, and why is it informative?  Why write it?  What is he trying to draw from it.  People hating the Kings on Twitter is nothing new.  Neither is the act of booing at a sport event, or an opposing team or player for that matter.

Also, and yes, I am a Kings fan.  And if Kings fans were booing an injured player, that sucks.  But guess what, how does that change anything?  Will they kick people out of the arena?  Does this make LA a city of sin and debauchery?  In what way does this reflect on the Kings organization?  A few months ago Chiefs fans were believed to be cheering an injury.  So now if fans have any reaction to anything this reflects poorly on anyone other than the people making those decisions.  Will you travel to Los Angeles and  walk around, viewing the citizens as Imps from Doom, as if you are living in a post-Apocalyptic hellscape?  No.  Unless you are an idiot.  

We point out the follies in other teams players – and subsequently the fans of other team's players – because they don't stand for what we stand for.  Thus, bad fans justify your beliefs of a bad team.  Boo bad team, boo.  I hate the Ducks for no other reason other than they are a "rival."  I don't really hate the Ducks, though, which is where there is typically a misconception.  In reality, sports are just a fucking game.  But some people have a difficult time separating themselves from that middle ground, or gray area, of sports fandom and regular lifedom.  For Kings fans, Corey Perry is a dick, but so is your neighbor across the street.  But if you are a normal person, you would still give Corey advice on the right fertilizer to use on his lawn.

That's just my opinion, though.

On the Houston Aeros Departure

A part of hockey history will go away at the end of this season.  The Minnesota Wild will move their AHL affiliate, currently the Houston Aeros, to Des Moines to presumably be closer to the NHL club.  Here at LCOB we find this disappointing for a few reasons because we share a special attachment, even kinship, to the Houston Aeros.

Houston, like Kansas City, is not what you would call a "hockey hotbed."  What it makes up for in being three times bigger in population than the KC Metro, it loses points in location.  Sure, Dallas has seen it's share of successful years with an NHL club, but cities like Atlanta, Phoenix, and at times Miami have not.  Houston, like Kansas City, used to be on the shortlist of cities vying for an NHL team before we all learned how ludicrous it was to field another franchise south of the Mason-Dixon parallel, before the advent of your Seattles, Hamiltons, Winnipegs, and Torontos X 2.  Who would be crazy/bold enough to buy a team from an ice-centric sport and plop them smack on the Gulf Coast.  Houston, for lack of readily available research and a Gary Bettman interview, is not an NHL city.  But for no reason of its own.


Like Kansas City, Houston doesn't fit the demographic.  Who wants to move a team to this city, and why?  How will an NHL team turn a profit in these cities?  KC and Houston share these questions, as the hockey universe uses both as their troll jumping off point in regards to another American franchise.  With thought out quips about the lack of hockey fans in the city, to imaginative yarns of games played before uninhabited arenas, and the lack of understanding or knowledge among the locals of the scientific properties of frozen liquid, it should be easy to see why the NHL would, and should, never consider these cities for hockey, let alone life itself.  A plot so tired and passé that it takes everything in your power not to point out that the entire province of Manitoba has less inhabitants than the urban statistical area of Kansas City and that there is a good chance there are still more hockey fans in Omaha, Des Moines, Mid-Missouri, Wichita, Topeka and the entire Kansas City region combined (i.e. colloquially known as the "Chiefs Kingdom" supporting another single franchise*) than total Manitobans, for arguing with a fool makes one a fool themselves.

We share this pain, because it's easy to point out the flaws.  I do it regularly.  No Gretzky didn't grow up in either of these cities.  They don't play pond hockey in Houston, and if they play it here no one has told me.  But there is historical significance of the sport to fans in both cities.  Kansas City folks enjoy their hockey, as the Mavs hope to break the tenuous presence of the sport in the city.  Houston folks, obviously, enjoy their hockey.  See for yourself.  The Aeros rank near the top of the league in attendance, hovering around the 6,000 fan average per game mark, since 2006.  Plus, the Aeros have given their fans twenty years of uninterrupted hockey, one Turner Cup, and one Calder Cup during that time.  What's not to love?

Honestly, I have never met a Houston hockey fan personally, but like I said, there's a kinship between us tweener hockey cities.  Houston had what Kansas City hockey fans want, and that's a consistent hockey presence in the city's sports landscape.  The Outlaws didn't fill that void, mainly because no one knew they existed.  And as much as I hate to admit it, the Blades struggled to do so, as well.  But, the death of the Blades was like a slap in the face to those diehard hockey fans in KC.  Ten years, down the drain.  Just like the Scouts, just like Blues, just like all the rest.  And now the Houston faithful feel, after twenty years of loyal patronage, some asshole is going to yank away a part of their identity.  That's just business, baby.  Twenty years is just the price of doing business in the modern sports landscape.  Now the next step in the grieving process: uncertainty.  What's next for Houston hockey fans?

I wanted to get whimsical and liken the loss of the Aeros to the loss of a grandparent or older acquaintance, someone you knew, and now they are gone, and that part of your family legacy goes away with it.  Or something.  But that's not really the point.  Personally, for me, the Aeros are one of the few reminders of the existence of the Blades.  Without the Blades, hockey probably is not a part of my life, or many younger generations of Kansas Citians.  The Aeros, the Fort Wayne Komets, the Chicago Wolves, and the Milwaukee Admirals are all a reminders of the past hope of hockey in Kansas City.  The Grand Rapids Griffins are also a reminder of that, though we won't talk about their terrible existence for obvious reasons.  The Aeros bring back good memories, of simpler times, of the Cleveland LumberJacks and Phoenix Roadrunners, and how obtuse the shootout seemed way before the NHL ever thought about implementing it.  Houston fans don't deserve what's going to happen to their team anymore than we did when the Blades went away.

On a side note, seriously, how great is that logo?  The Aeros didn't change it except for a brief time during their transition to the AHL, but changed it back to the original mostly because the new one was dumb and unoriginal.  Great logos are hard to find today, especially some that have a touch of history to them.  Some that stick with a franchise forever.  The winged-wheel.  The Blackhawk head.  Chief Wahoo.  The Chiefs Arrowhead.

I know people in Iowa excited about this impending new team.  Good for them.  They deserve it – the whole city – because they want it.  Their old team got taken away, and now they got a new one.  Sunrise, sunset.  Though, the new team won't be called the Des Moines Aeros.  In fact, if it's called the Des Moines/Iowa Wild, I'm never setting foot in the state of Iowa again just based on their lack of creativity alone.

But don't you worry, the Aeros will return in some form or fashion, though hopefully it doesn't take fifteen years like it did the last time.  Heck, a new Aeros could even join the CHL, much like the new incarnation of the Quad City Mallards, and former IHL and CHL squad the Fort Wayne Komets.  If the Aeros do come to the CHL and the Mavs have another retro Blades jersey night while they are in town, I'll feel like a kid, you guys, falling in love with hockey all over again.  (heavy, wistful sigh)

Until then, here's a video of the Blades' Kevin Evans and the Aeros Steve Jaques dropping the gloves from the old IHL days.

Courtesy of the Department of Redundancy department.

*Yes, I understand the difference between the NHL and NFL.  Merely demonstrating a point.

"Cohesive Hockey Interested Group" As Believable As "A Million Little Pieces"

Like Columbus? Nashville? St. Louis? What's your definition of small? (Via)

Sports talk radio.  You listen to this stuff?  I try not to, but, alas, my working environment permits it, more or less.  Oh, don't get me wrong, it's not all bad.  Sometimes they have good interviews.  Like Kansas City mayor Slyyy James on 610 Sports this morning with Bob Fescoe.  That Sly, he's real pumped about that All-Star game.

Of course, that's not important.  Oh no.  Toward the end of the interview, Slyyyy was asked about the status of an NBA or NHL team at the Sprint Center (as he should be in every interview ever until it happens).  Annnnnndddd here's what he said!

"I'd say, if anything, we're closer on the hockey front than we are the basketball front.  There's a cohesive hockey interested group."

Click here to listen to the interview (important part starts at about 14:20)

I'm unsure what part of that to not believe more.  Sure wish we had more info... great job by Fescoe following up on that lead!!!  Anyway, it doesn't matter because who knows what he is talking about.  I can't imagine he is referring to someone Paul McGannon's NHL21 has found, because he apparently has a new name and mission.  It could be the super-duper double secret international investment group vying for the Coyotes a few months ago.  Or it could be the reanimated corpse of Andrew bleeding Carnegie.  Who knows.

After the interview, Slyyy Fox clarified his comments.  He basically says the city's NHL prospects are the tallest midget, but still a midget nonetheless.  

"2b clear.  Nothing even close" – Sly James

Later on, Danny Parkins and Carrington Harrison talked about these comments on their show and gave their input (because that's what they do for a living).

Here is the extent of hockey discussion on Kansas City talk radio.

Carrington Harrison: "Whenever the NHL playoffs were going on...very few people were saying 'talk NHL.'"

Danny Parkins: "Hockey isn't wildly popular outside of Canadians" (then goes on to list wild popularity in major American cities)

These are both somewhat myopic views, only because people don't text you or call you about hockey because YOU NEVER TALK ABOUT IT.  The only personality who actually does initiate hockey talk on the radio here is Gary "G-D" Lezak and that's only over the past month and because he's an LA Kings fan (it should be noted that whenever he did this, 810's Border Patrol became visibly ill).  Hockey fans will go where they can talk about hockey.  They won't sit around and wait for you guys to talk about it.  They are smarter than that.  Hockey has as large of an online presence as any major sport.  Just look locally, there are zero KC-specific basketball blog sites, yet just look at "The Locals" section on the right side of this page for those here in the area talking about hockey.  A very, very small-scale example, but KC doesn't even have a team and people are talking about it.

The main take away here is Parkins stating his willingness to start talking hockey.  So...do it.  Interview people who want to talk about it.  Devote ten minutes of your show once a week.  Something.  It's a chicken and the egg scenario.  You don't talk about it, so people don't ask you about it.  Look, this isn't a discussion of whether Kansas City can support a team or not, just talk hockey.  We can support hockey talk.  Radio personalities don't even have to learn anything about it.  Have experts come on and talk about it.  There are hockey writers all over North America that would love to talk hockey to the Kansas City audience.  Teaching them about the players, the game.  You don't even have to LEARN THE NAMES!!!

Also, as an aside, and they touched on this, but Bill Self's opinions on anything other than Kansas basketball is like asking Eva Perón about military strategy in Norway.  NO. ONE. (SHOULD.) CARE.

"It's one hell of a Wednesday Kansas."  Okay, that's funny.

Man, I knew this post was coming, but I hate talking about sports radio.

The End of the 2011-12 Hockey Season

My favorite team just won the Stanley Cup.  I know you don't care, but I do.  There is no way to describe this feeling because I still don't quite understand what happened.  Surreal.  I can't comprehend this.  But I'm happy.  Very happy.  And I will probably break down crying tomorrow at work, then get sent home early.  If so, I'll write something more meaningful.  Until then, it's just whatever, man.  Dude, Kings.

Via

All pics via ESPN or Yahoo!

My only (other) wish is that I could celebrate the victory with the fans.  Not necessarily in LA, although that would be awesome, but I want this for Kansas City.  One day.

This is awesome.

The 2012-13 Heels of Hockey: The Desert Dawgz

RKO! RKO! RKO!

The Corporation, the nWo, Evolution, the Phoenix Coyotes...all great wrestling heel factions.  What's that, "The Coyotes", you ask?  Oh yes, and let me tell you, they really hate "you people" and flee close matches with their collective tails between their legs (pun intended).


Remember last season when everyone rooted for the Boston Bruins to beat the Vancouver Canucks in the Stanley Cup Finals (we did this, people, and we have to live with our decisions)?  Just to see that "flopper" Ryan Kesler, that "douche" Alex Burrows, those "creepy twins" the Sedins, and "weird gaze dude" Roberto Luongo get their comeuppance.  (Plus, head coach Alain Vingneault speaks something called "French."  That can't be good.)  Then, through this season, the 'Nucks were arguably the heels of hockey...until they lost in the Finals and in the first round this year.  No longer perceived as a threat, we now have a new enemy, someone else to form a feud against the John Cenas and Rey Mysterios of the world.  The Phoenix Coyotes.  Learn why after the jump.
As Quisp at McSorley's Stick explains, after the Coyotes players' almost comical reactions to the officiating (among other things) in the Western Conference Finals against the Kings, the "'Yotes mentality" brings with it an unfortunate side effect of breeding craziness among its followers:

I think what we’re seeing here is a window into the Coyotes’ actual team psychology. They have been feeding for so long on the fact that they have been on the verge of bankruptcy, legal troubles, one foot out the door to other cities, playing in empty arenas — using all of that as a rallying cry — that their sense of persecution has become an ingrained and defining part of their collective identity. “Everyone is out to get us” — in its various iterations — has been their team motto, and they’ve used it to their advantage, until now. And their psychotic reaction to actually losing is the flip side of believing their own internal narrative.

The Coyotes have no owner; they are orphans looking to exact revenge on society for bad things that happened in their lives.  They also do not have a very large fan base (in comparison to the rest of the NHL).  No one cares about them (their implication, not mine), they have no direction, and their actions reflect that mentality.  So, the sensible thing to do is to compare them to wrestling heels, the only people in the world that reflect the same emotional instability (other than super villains, but some may argue they are not real people). 

What does it take to be an effective heel in the WWE, TNA, professional wrestling et al.?

1. Be a douche to others.

2. Whine about shit.

3. Call out the audience using the phrase "you people," or implying it's you against everyone else.

4. Be good so you can back up your talk.

5. Be a little crazy, and say things that don't make sense or call out "the establishment."

6. Attack officials, administrators, or anyone in a position of authority.

7. Attack unsuspecting opponents (typically with an intent to render them ineffective before a big match).

8. Most heels are either minorities (all the black heels as a tag team, for example) or hate minorities (making fun at Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo Rodriguez).  This is a fact.

9. Never, ever, under any circumstances, engage in a feud with a commentator.

The first seven apply to our subject for today (and #9 is just common sense.  An announcer wrestling, other than maybe Regal, is just stupid.).  #8 applies to the Arizona immigration law, of which the Coyotes are grouped into by default.  The point being, the Coyotes common mentality with the slighted bad guys of wrestling.  The 'Yotes don't take crap from anyone else, they play hard even when the arena is half full, and do all of this knowing that at any moment Bettman could announce the franchise's relocation to the North Pole.  But, in these playoffs, this mentality has not won over many fans, which is unfortunate, because this franchise has failed to attract more than 13,000 fans per game since they did so in 2008-09 (plus, an influx of Kings fans during crucial playoff games in your home arena does not look good on TV, especially since Kings fans don't ever travel to games).

So, let's take a look at a few of the players and see how they compare to other great heels in wrestling history.  Maybe we will all learn to hate the Coyotes even more.  Plus, you will be happy to know this information when you start seeing nWo posters at Coyotes games next season.

Shane Doan – Ah, the fearless leader, the grizzled vet seeking his first encounter with Lord Stanley's Cup.  He's less like a wrestler and more like Gunnar Stahl from "D2: The Mighty Ducks."  Such an epic douche that when he gets beaten by a girl (read: someone better than him) at the end, all of the irony is tossed out the window.

"I must break you"

He also does stuff like this on a regular basis:

With all the talk and his douchiness and the fact that he may or may not show up to work the next day due to consequences of his actions, let's call him the modern day Chris Jericho of professional hockey.

Mike Smith – He speaks like the nonsensical Iron Sheik with his "Dustin Brown should be suspended FOREVER" speech following the WCF.

“When Brown gets away with something like that after the whistle, knee-on-knee, that’s a dangerous play...If Raffi Torres gets 25 games for his hit [on Chicago forward Marian Hossa], this guy should be done forever.”

Anything else?  Oh yeah.

He dives like Dolph Ziggler, and he is damn good at it.  And, like Ziggler, he is good at his job, but his skills have not had so much air time until recently.  All he needs to do now is show-off so much it causes him to give up a goal.

Michal Rozsival – Rozsival = Kevin Nash circa the Fingerpoke of Doom

Via HF Boards

Martin Hanzal – Generic Heel Jobber #4.  He's like the Joker in a deck of ass.

Derek Morris – This guy is difficult to pinpoint.  He's not necessarily good, and he definitely sucks.  He's a clumsy, bumbling stooge when on the ice.

What's that, you say?  Derek Morris says silly nonsense when he speaks.  Well, I don't know about any of that, but here's his thoughts on the Kings series:

Today was unfortunate, the bad officiating...There’s no accountability with them, that’s the only problem. They don’t have anybody to answer to. They say that they do, but they don’t.”

Also, his dumb luck meter has far exceeded it's potential.  Now that I think about it...he kind of looks like a certain wrestler too...

He's so much like Big Show it's scary.


Raffi Torres – He's the Brock Lesnar of hockey: he just wants to kill someone and walk away like it's no biggie.  These are just some of the reasons fans want to boo him when his music hits.  
Jordan Eberle hit
Nate Prosser hit
Marian Hossa hit


BizNasty – Stat line for April 19th game against the Blackhawks (last game until suiting up for the Kings series):

0:13 ice time, 1 shift, 5 minute penalty for fighting, game misconduct for equipment violation

Also, he's entertaining to follow on Twitter.  So, Ted Dibiase Jr.?


Keith Yandle – Yandle's reaction to the officiating in the WCF and the reaction of Bret Hart during the Montréal Screwjob are uncanny.  Damn you, Earl Hebner and Vince McMahon.


Of course, Bret Hart went on to have success after that incident, but, only time well tell on Yandle.


Jason LaBarbera – Sucks and laughable.  He also does a victory dance.  He's Hornswoggle.

Ray Whitney – He's old and he has won a Cup.  Let's just call him TNA's version of Ric Flair from the team Beer Money Inc.


Even the announcers portray some of these traits.  How about color commentator Tyson Nash doing his Michael Cole impression, stating the Torres hit on Hossa was "clean", and for this tweet about the Dustin Brown hit, since deleted:

P.S.: Brown received no supplemental discipline for the hit 

Vintage Michael Cole.


That brings us to the ring leader of this operation, and the one to blame for most of this: General Manager Don Maloney, more like the Shane McMahon of the Coyotes. He created the current culture of the Coyotes, but you can't blame him for everything.  The NHL, like Vince McMahon, sit idly watching in their ivory tower, contemplating every move, and then do nothing for long periods of time. The Coyotes feel abandoned, so they lash out in unnatural ways.  It's quite sad, really.  And now the NHL wants to get rid of the 'Yotes just when they start doing well.  Nothing is ever good enough for the NHL, though, and the Coyotes fell betrayed, so they lash out, no longer seeking acceptance from so-called "normal" or "decent" society.


Let us learn from the NHL's mistake: There are no bad Coyotes, just bad owners.

The Distinguished Sports Observer's Guide to Avoiding the Words "Classless" and "Dirty"

Via ESPN

I hate to start anything with a “Webster’s Dictionary states...” style definition, but it has a point, so bear with me:

class*less
adjective
1. (of a society) not divided into social classes.

 Wait a minute, that’s not right.  Okay, maybe this is closer.

2. characterized by the absence of economic and social distinctions

 Not really, but kind of...wait, okay here we go:

class  

adjective 

informal: showing stylish excellence

Classless.  Without class.  Having no class.  Sans class.  The inability to show stylish excellence.  These are all ideas of classlessness.  In the sports world, classless relates to a direct and wiling attack against the rules with the intent of harming another player or the laws of the game.  Playing the game with a reckless disregard for all things good and just in the sport.  Playing outside of the box, in effect, is not allowed in the sports world.  Walter Sobchak would have made a great commissioner with the motto, “Am I the only one around here who gives a sh*t about the rules?”  But, if a player does this enough, or in a gloriously reckless way, they are labeled by the fans of that sports as a “cheat”, “dirty”, or “classless”.  In hockey it can range from anything from playing the puck from the bench, to making direct intentional contact with another player for the sake of injuring that player or to seek retribution, to sucker punching an opponent in the back of the head.  The NHL’s most recent talking point revolves around intent to injure, most notably, headshots and removing dangerous collisions. 

One hopes that Brendan Shanahan and the rest of the NHL rules people are doing their best to get rid of the dirty plays much like those hot beats off of Raffi Torres’s Greatest Hits Album.  But, to call someone like Torres dirty is missing the point: his style of play is no longer tolerated in the NHL.  He must serve a 25 game suspension, and if he doesn’t straighten up and fly right after serving his suspension, he will be socially ostracized, he will be awarded no points, and may God have mercy on his soul.

But, what does it mean to be a classless, dirty, goon, punk, no-good dirty rotten rebel hotshot who plays by no one else’s rules but his own?  Well, by playing outside of the box, they essentially play outside of the established rules.  Thus not playing the game hard, fast, clean, and with “stylish excellence”, right?  How about playing without “integrity”, which literally means just playing within the rules.  It’s when players play outside of the established rules, jeopardizing the “integrity of the game”, that commissioner Gary Bettman or Shanahan step in.

Recently, the hard part for the League is defining “integrity”, a continuously fluid idea in a violent sport like hockey.  A hit legal in the year 2000 is not legal now, for obvious reasons, but it does not mean that players avoided making that hit then.  The role of the goon, like–albeit a fictional example–the Hanson brothers from the movie Slapshot, a reckless abandon style of player on most lineups through the early to mid-2000s, has all but disappeared from most teams in an effort to implement more offense and skill to the game.

Sometimes the League's definition of this fluid idea causes confusion among players and coaches.  Applying this idea to the recent Pens–Flyers series and final meetings in the regular season, one sees how team personnel and the League can interpret the idea of “integrity” differently.  Take Flyers coach Peter Laviolette’s argument with Penguins coach Dan Bylsma, calling him “gutless” for playing his fourth line with less than two minutes left in a decided game a week before the playoffs.  Yes, hard hits were had, and fighting ensued, but the Penguins players did not do anything outside of the established rules.  Unexpected, yes, but not enough to say that they jeopardized the integrity of the game.  Conversely, look at the Pens-Flyers playoff Game 3, when Penguins Arron Asham, Craig Adams, and James Neal went outside of the rules with their excessive violence.  The league stepped in and suspended all three players.  How about, for fun, we label them as “classless” players, you know, just to get a row out of those journalistic types.  What does that mean?  It means they are players that take the rules into their own hands; players that the league will look at much closer in the future.  The league knows who to watch, especially those “repeat offenders” that Shanahan talks about.  Yeah, maybe we as fans don’t agree with every decision (*cough* Shea Weber *cough*), but be sure precedent has been set and will be set for the future with every dangerous hit.  The beauty of modern sport lies in the ability to fluctuate and change as needed.

So, applying this idea to something semi-local, the “classless”, “dirty”, “goon” mantra has officially started in the Kings-Blues series.  This same dialogue went on during the Kings-Canucks series with numerous accusations of diving, headshots, and aggressive play through the first three games.  You see this to a lesser extent in the Blues-Sharks series, notably with the fight at the end of Game 2 – the beginning of the end for the Sharks.

Game 1 of the Kings-Blues series saw a questionable hit by the Kings’ Dwight King on Blues defenseman Alex Pietrangelo.  Immediately, two opposing sides form on whether or not this hit is a malicious and dangerous, and thus suspendable, play.  Ultimately, the league decided not to punish King any further (he got 2 minutes for boarding for the hit).  Then, Game 2 gave us the crazy physical play by the Blues after the Kings’ fifth goal, and the borderline hit by Kings d-man Willie Mitchell (past concussion victim) on Jamie Langenbrunner.  Otherwise, you’re just talking about two tough teams beating the crap out of each other for about 38 minutes.  As NBC Sports commentator Brian Engblom stated in roundabout fashion numerous times during the third period (and I’m paraphrasing) “This is the playoffs.”  Alas, Mr. Engblom's assertion aside, the conversation in the comments section gets ugly or non compos mentis and strong opinions form among the fans of the two sides, and, as stated in the Internet Guide to Civil Conversation and Open Dialogue Vol. III, that does not follow the modern conventions of cordial hockey debates.

When in doubt about the physicality of an NHL playoff series, ask this question:  Has either team gone out of their way to be malicious or make a mockery of the game?  I don’t think so.  It’s hard hitting.  It’s a battle.  It’s going to be rough at times because neither team wants to give up an inch.  And, in that same vain, no player wants to cost their team by sitting out or become the primary focus of the referees.

Is Dustin Brown classless for his aggressive board play and whiplash effect?  How about Carlo Colaiacovo for rabbit punching Brown?  If you answer 'yes' in either case, then there are many other current and former players you can lump in the dirty pile with them.

So, the point of all this is that the Reactionary Internet Community doesn’t mean “classless” when they say “classless,” nor do they understand that when they say “dirty” they actually mean “classless,” which, if you were just paying attention, is not the word they actually mean.  They mean “belittling the integrity of the game,” but, as mentioned, the integrity of the game is a fluid idea, which it should be in a progressive society like this one.  The Reactionary Internet Community (as well as the Ignorant Internet Folks) will say what they want to say, and there is nothing you or I or anyone can do about it.  You can troll as much as anyone else can troll, and that’s about it, and that solves nothing (except being incredibly hilarious sometimes).

But, my main point: Always question things.  Question the League.  Question the motivations of the players, for they are in fact human beings.  But, have confidence that the League will handle things in an appropriate way, and that players will play the game right.  And, dammit, above all else, just enjoy yourself.  I mean, it’s the freakin’ Stanley Cup playoffs! 

***

Oh, hey, I’m on that Twitter contraption now!  Shhhh, don’t tell me how 2009 turns out, I haven’t gotten all the way through yet.

For all Kansas City-area related hockey news and links to other cool stuff (and links to articles on this blog), follow @FlubberMcGee

NHL Ready to Abort Plan Glendale, Begin Operation Coyote Freedom (UPDATED)

First, a little evening reading:

TSN's Darren Dreger Tweet 1

TSN's Darren Dreger Tweet 2

Report: NHL investigating alternative plans for Phoenix Coyotes

What's that, you say?  We've seen this before.  Well, you're right, we have seen this before.

For numerous reasons that may be obvious, but we will not get into right now, it is good from a marketing and sustainability standpoint for NHL (hockey's highest level of competition in, arguably, the world) to have franchises in non-traditional hockey markets.  Some reasons include, but are not limited to: spread the game, open up hockey to new markets, create a wider base instead of just regional (i.e. Canada and the Northeast), large television markets, etc.  That being said, there are numerous negative financial consequences that can occur.  But, that's not the point.

Basically, if the Greg Jamison deal, which gained so much momentum only a short time ago, falls through, the NHL will be more than happy to listen to offers from ownership groups ready and willing to swoop in and carry the team away from Glendale financial hell.  "Plan B", if you will.

Of course, of the possible relocation cities mentioned by Dreger (Seattle, Quebec City, Las Vegas, and Kansas City), KC is the only one with an NHL-ready arena (read: large enough, actually exists, and not crap).  And, of course, that is not the only thing needed to have a franchise (read: OWNER, OWNER, OWNER...).  I'm not saying to start dancing on tables and buy up Coyotes merch in anticipation of the super-duper new KANSAS CITY COYOTES, nor am I saying to be pessimistic and depressed about the NHL ever coming to Kansas City.  Maintain.  The NHL probably won't come here, but then again, the NHL did operate a struggling franchise for three years in a non-traditional market.  I suppose anything could happen.  It's about perspective.

And, at least the NHL has a Plan B, unlike some people :

Haha, it's funny because "Curtis Painter"

Meanwhile, the Mavs are about ready to clinch a playoff berth.  We have a successful club here, and they are already very well supported.  THAT is a good sign.

(UPDATE concerns labeling potential Coyotes owner Greg Jamison by the wrong name.  I said Tim Jamieson, the name of the Mizzou baseball coach, because, apparently, I am dumb.)

Because Valentines Day Occurs During Hockey Season

"As soon go kindle fire with snow, as seek to quench the fire of love with words... and hockey."
--William "Gordie" Shakespeare

Ah, Valentines Day is nearly upon us.  Can't us just smell the love in the air...underneath all of the snow? Well, never mind.

Anyway, enough small talk.  I have a confession to make.  During the Kansas-Mizzou Border War hockey game a few weeks ago, a certain someone caught my eye.  No, it wasn't the 'Dave' guy from those Staples commercials, although I swear some guy that either was him or looked like him was chillin' at the IEC dining area in-between periods.  It was a much lovelier beauty, with a name unknown.  She was the equipment girl/towel girl/bench bunny for the Jayhawks squad.  Her beauty unmatched by any other in the arena.  Her flowing golden hair moved with ease with each graceful step she took across the ice to the bench.  You should have seen her, you guys.  Here is a totally unflattering photo:

She is the one in the middle

You can also see a video of me totally not being a creep here.

Her presence was magical, really.  Something you notice, and cannot look away.

But, I have a problem, you guys.  Well, not so much me, but its her.  As a great man once said, "There is no excellent beauty than hath not some strangeness in the proportion."  This is true, for you see, she does not smile.  For three periods of hockey, not once did could you see a dimple in her cheek, or her lips upturn in a show of sudden emotion.  So stoic and unflinching, it makes me sad to think about.  Sure, she could have been "all business," taking a cue from Vince Lombardi's "act like you've been there before" motto, but it still makes me feel helpless.  If she cannot enjoy a hockey game, what can she enjoy?

So, I wrote a poem, you guys.  I wrote it because I think she speaks for all of us as hockey fans.  But, I mainly wrote because she's attractive.

(Note: for the sake of this poem, NHL is one syllable)


Ode to a Blank Faced Bench Beauty

The "Coolest Game on Earth" does not compare,
With thee beauty, much greater than the NHL.
Sweet, sensuous shock straighter than Smyth's hair.
Though your stare is as icy as Smashville.

For some, to kiss the Cup is one great wish,
For others, it is merely to kiss your cheek.
And plus, the Cup does not pucker its lips,
Or smile weak.  Though your smile is what one seeks.

But, longer loveliness than a season,
Somatic seduction.  A souvenir?
Rather, thou give hockey fans a reason
To want its charm and grace for all the year.

Even the cute girl with a face of stone,
Cannot build a Seattle team a home.


(BOOM!  Nailed it!)

Vern Cooper and Putting Things In Perspective

“We cannot despair of humanity, since we ourselves are human beings.”

--Albert Einstein

I’ve been mulling this post over for a while, not really wanting to write it for various reasons and not really knowing how to write it.  For me (read: you don’t care), writing is cathartic.  For others, writing is a form of expression or way of conveying messages or making money, etc.  But, I find it to be an outlet to what I’m feeling.  Thus, the blog you see in front of you.  “No NHL in KC, well, by gosh, I will write a blog and that will make me feel better!” (/shakes fist aggressively).  That sort of thing, if that makes any sense.

That being said, I’m not writing this as a precept or profound teaching on life, nor is the epigraph above meant to convey that message (trivia: I’m not a very deep person).  Instead, I want to offer the story of recent-former Missouri Mavericks forward Vern Cooper as a counter example to a blog post I read over the summer by the writer formerly known as Will McDonald over at Royals Review.  Please read his post.  It’s depressing, but kind of true, but kind of not, thus the reason why this is a rebuttal, of sorts.

(Just as a side note, I do not know Vern nor do I have a full understanding of the reasons concerning his departure.  I can only make base inferences through research, prior examples, and personal introspective confusion.  That said, my assumptions about his future are just that, assumptions.)
(Update: If I did not make it clear, one main reason I did not want to write this is because, like Will, I did not want it to sound like a "This is what so-and-so teaches us about life" thing.  That type of thinking is not productive to the main point which I hope is clear.)  

If you haven’t yet heard, or don’t quite care (bear with me if you are of the latter opinion), Vern left the Mavs to pursue his academic opportunities at the ripe old age of twenty.  The reason Vern, an Ontario native, made his way to the friendly environs of the Kansas City metropolitan area is fairly simple.  The Canadian Hockey League (which contains the Quebec Major Junior Hockey League, Western Hockey League, and Ontario Hockey League), the main major-junior league in Canada which allows players as young as 16 to play, sets a rule that at nineteen a player must leave the league or join a team as an “overage” player (as in, over age; over the age of 19 in this case).  Cooper played five years in the CHL, played last year as an overager, went undrafted, and left Canada to pursue new opportunities in the hockey world.  Thus enter the Mavericks.

Many tough life decisions plague the life of an overager, though.  He doesn’t just get to pick a team and go from there.  A Toronto Sun article on the topic states, “An overage junior hockey player is unlikely to make the NHL. By that point, they should be playing in a mid- to low-level pro league, or considering another career and going back to school.”  I can imagine that is not a very encouraging thing to hear for most twenty year olds looking to make a splash in the hockey world.  In Vern’s case, he tried the semi-pro hockey circuit, but for whatever reason it is just not working out.  His career as a “hockey player” may be effectively over. 

It’s becoming increasingly obvious that Vern will not lift Lord Stanley’s Cup above his head at center ice.  Whether or not this is clear to Vern yet does not matter.  He has already moved on for the time being.  But he is only doing what many before him have done, and what many after him will do as well.  Hockey was Plan A, and now it’s time for Plan B.  Luckily for him the CHL gives out plenty of awards in “scholarship”-type money, so it’s presumed money will not be much of an issue for his academic future.

So, is Vern a failure?  We all fail, and most of us never end up getting whatever it is we truly want.  Then again, what do we want?  To echo something Mr. McDonald said, “Our sense of perspective is seriously skewed.”  I agree wholeheartedly.  But, it is not so much our perspective of those who presumably have everything they ever wanted (in this case, professional sports players), which is something along the lines of, “This guy gets to play a children’s game for a living while making bank and livin’ the dream!”  No, it’s our perspective when it comes to self-analysis, which can easily become, “I have failed.  Boo me.”

Yes, we all fail, and at times, we all believe we suck and have nothing to offer the world, ourselves, or even those close to us.  We are but humans.  One could argue that those that are ever truly “successful” (the common definition of what we believe to be successful—wealth, fame, fortune, a great job, umm... a hot spouse...) never get to enjoy their success.  They always want more, or they are burdened with remaining relevant.  Humans want more, or something new, or a fresh start.  True, just by saying that does not make it a catch-all quality, but how often did you want the newest piece of technology, a raise, your lawn to be as well-manicured as your neighbor’s lawn, to go back to school, a better dental plan, and so on and so forth?  Success does not necessarily mean happiness, either.  South Park even teaches us that lesson. 

So, how often have you “failed” or “succeeded’?  If you are cynical like me, you have failed a lot, and believe you will continue to fail.  But then again, I have succeeded a lot, and I hope to succeed in the future.  Of course, failure does not mean you can just quit, but no one gets out of life alive either.  Yeah, sometimes life gets crappy and you start regretting things.  Without taking a poll, I would say most people regret or wish they could do something differently to some degree at some point in time in their lives.  But, what about the things and the times you would not trade for anything?  Mr. McDonald talks about people who set out to do something risky and failed.  Are they failures?  Yes, but because we all fail.  They just fell on their face harder than some of us.  But, what about the person “who ran away to Vail to be a ski instructor and ended up selling insurance in Pueblo three years and a divorce later”?  What if that person never took that chance?  Would they regret that choice years later?  What if they did not at least try?

I guess my main point is to look at your failures and successes, and then to look at your Plan Bs, like Mr. Cooper is doing. Vern may never be a NHL hockey player.  But, he did total 217 points in five seasons in the OHL.  Some might say that is a pretty awesome achievement before you hit legal drinking age.  Vern may never sign a multi-million dollar endorsement deal with Bauer or Gatorade or Nike or whoever.  But he can become one hell of an investment banker.  Sure, that may not sound as fun, or even be his dream, but hey, at least he can provide food and shelter for his family.  He is just trying to do what is best for his future so that he can put himself in the best possible position in life.  And really, isn’t that what we all want to do?

For hockey fans in KC, our perspective is skewed.  KC does not have a NHL team while smaller American markets do (Nashville, Columbus, Buffalo, Raleigh).  Does this mean that we have failed as a hockey town?  Well, don’t tell me that, because I went to the MU-KU Border War game a few weeks ago and had a blast!  And that’s the point.  We had a NHL team long ago and it failed.  Fine.  Today, though, we have the Mavs, we have college games (and more games on the horizon), we have NHL exhibition games, we have NHLers running camps.  We do have a moderately vibrant hockey community in this city.  Look, I’m not saying to be thankful for what you have or whatever, nor am I trying to blow smoke up your butt and tell you that everything is sunshine and rainbows and we should all sit in a big circle outside of the Sprint Center and sing “Kumbaya.”  Sh*t happens, life gets to you, and you realize you aren’t hot sh*t in overtly painful ways sometimes. Sure, we don’t have what we want, and we may never again get what we truly want as a hockey community.  But, just like Vern, we can always look and hope for the best possible opportunities while supporting all forms of hockey in this city in the absence of our dream.

Feel free to disagree with that assessment in the comments, or show off your own opinions in the comments, if you feel so inclined.  In fact, it is your right to do so.

Here’s a video of Vern fighting Tyler Toffoli in an OHL game, because violence never fails to sustain us: